Black hair has a natural tendency towards dryness, however, you feel it a lot more when you go natural.
There is one universal moisturiser for softening hair that works for everyone: WATER!
The problem is that water on its own evaporates very quickly. To retain the moisture from water you need to use an additional moisturiser, e.g. a leave-in conditioner then you need to lock that in with a cream and an oil via the LOC method or the LCO method.
Finding the perfect leave-in conditioner for your hair type, the best cream and most suitable oil to lock in the moisture takes time. In addition, to maintain soft hair I have to wash and deep condition my hair every 7 to 10 days otherwise it gets very crunchy, a little like dry leaves.
2. TAKING EVERYONE'S ADVICE AS THE GOSPLE TRUTH
Fact: everyone's hair responds differently to different products and regimens. Even if your hair type appears to be very similar to someone else's it doesn't follow that their regimen will produce the same results for you.
Whenever you receive new information you need to see if it works for you before adopting it. If it doesn't work, don't follow that advice. I too made the mistake of following another person's routine too strictly even though their hair was definitely different to mine.
Note also that you will need to change your hair routine at different lengths of hair.
3. FINDING A GOOD DEEP CONDITIONER
Deep conditioners are a special category of conditioner. You need to use one every single week to ensure your hair is as strong and nourished as it should be. If your conditioner says "for daily use, or if it's very watery, it is not a deep conditioner.
What challenges have you faced on your journey?