I couldn’t have landed upon a better read.
This book is awesome. Described simply, it’s about understanding the psychology of other people and therefore learning to treat them better with the intention of getting the best out of them. The book is so good that I had to add it to the recommended reading list in my newly published book, To Become an Investment Banker.
The principles in this book can be applied to raising children, developing employees in one’s company, selling and any other interpersonal interactions. As usual, I will share some of the useful insights that were relayed. The book was also full of interesting examples and anecdotes but if you want these you will need to purchase it.
- Criticism is dangerous and futile. Research has shown that animals that are rewarded for good behavior learn faster than those punished for behaving badly – the same can be applied to people.
- The human desire to be great and to feel important is as necessary as the desire to eat.
- Showing sincere appreciation can change a person’s life.
- Speak to people in terms of THEIR wants, interests and motivations. This is very important in pitching ideas and selling.
- Smile. Smiling gives to the receiver without taking away from the giver.
- Remember names! That is the most important thing to any one person. I might also add: pronounce names correctly!
- Listen! I need to do more of this. It can pay richly to let the other person do most of the talking.
- Compliment people even if you want nothing in return; do it all the time and everywhere.
- Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
- Never tell someone that they are wrong directly. Do it gently and with tact. Admit if you are wrong: quickly and emphatically.
- If you are not seeing eye-to-eye with someone ask them a series of questions to which they have to reply yes with the ultimate result that they say yes to what you wanted them to say yes to in the first place.
- Try honestly to see the other person’s point of view.
- Return an insult with kindness.
- Sympathy is universally craved.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw challenges to people; bringing out their competitive spirit generally leads to improved results and productivity.
- Talk about your own shortcomings and mistakes before criticizing someone else.
- Praising someone even for the slightest improvement can lead to a large bounce in their enthusiasm. Abilities wither under criticism, they blossom with encouragement.
- Give people a fine reputation to live up to. If you let on that you think they are incompetent, you won’t get a positive result.
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