Friend, how often have you visited a website that you would not publicize on the front page of a newspaper? Let’s be honest, at some point we all have, even if it was by accident. This week, however, I have developed a renewed respect for cyberspace. I have had to acknowledge that even if one operates anonymously they are not at all anonymous. What brought this about? On the back of Fat Creep™, essentially my new business and hobby I designed a newsletter. I have been interested in the world of business since before I was a teenager (weird, I know) and I’m always curious about new practices and methods. Last year, I noticed that several emails that I received had a “Mailchimp” stamp on them and I clicked on that stamp to investigate what Mailchimp was. Mailchimp is basically an email marketing resource but it goes far beyond that. I decided to use Mailchimp although I didn’t realize the full extent of its capabilities. As a starting point for creating a newsletter, I contacted all of my friends including most of my Facebook friends to ask if it was okay to include them. Given my belief that most of my friends would be okay with it (and note, I am one of those people that actually knows every Facebook friend) I told my friends not to reply if my newsletter was welcome to spare them the effort. I made this explicit request for permission in the first two lines of the email to keep things transparent and I sent the request from my private email to ensure that it was actually read. I gave it a week because I know some don’t check their messages daily. Following my first newsletter, a week later, I had the privilege of a status report and I was astounded, completely astounded at the level of detail in that report! Not only did it show how many emails had been opened but it also reported how many times the email had been opened, whether any links in that email had been clicked, which emails had bounced, which people had unsubscribed from the letter and who had hit the SPAM button! I knew exactly who had done what. I was pleased that only two people had hit SPAM but given I had requested their permission I was not impressed, they were promptly unfriended on Facebook for irresponsibility. Those that properly unsubscribed I respected because I believe everyone should only receive information that they need and want to receive. The whole experience, made me realize the extent to which the realm of cyberspace is not private. There is probably nothing less private. EVERY SINGLE CLICK, is recorded. If you are doing anything on your PC or phone that you would not be proud of, stop because you do not know how that click will one day hold you back, or worse be provided as evidence in court to build an image of your character. Friend, you have been warned – cyberspace is dangerous, very dangerous. Keep it clean, keep it squeaky clean.
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Sometimes my life reads like a Hollywood movie. Last week my home was almost robbed. Something I thought only happened to other people; indeed, some events, I expect (and prefer) to see only on film. Roused by a strange sound my husband walked into the kitchen to find a South London chav trying to break the window open with a crowbar. Minutes later my house was occupied by the police, sniffer dogs and forensics. We were lucky though, we learnt a cheap lesson, two other homes in the neighborhood were not so lucky. People may blame such behaviour on the recession, a lack of jobs, desperation, life but whatever the reason is we responsible citizens need to protect ourselves against such selfish acts. Thieves have little regard for the hard graft that underlies a purchase. I was a little blasé about the almost-robbery until our neighbor’s CCTV showed that the thieves specifically targeted us. A lady drove by and knocked on the door to check if anyone was home – my husband didn’t answer so she drove off and returned three minutes later to drop off a lad that never reappeared on the CCTV screen. When my hubby caught him, he leapt over the back fence. If this chav had found our car keys the police reckon he would have loaded anything that he could sell into our own car and driven off with it! What can you do to protect you and your family: 1. Lock interior doors when you leave the house. This makes it harder for thieves. Once they get into one room a locked door means they can’t get into another room. With the new obstacle the thief may get turned off and leave because the question in their mind will be “if they bothered to lock this door, what other obstacles will I have to get through?” 2. Get a personal alarm. If a thief ever manages to get close to you an alarm may scare them off because it attracts attention. 3. Get a safe and lock all your valuables in there: laptops, iPads, cameras, car keys. Make sure it can be bolted to the floor or a wall so that it can’t simply be carried off. They are not as expensive as one might think, £150 - 200 will get you a decent one. 4. Get a domestic alarm system with PIR movement detectors. Think: Mission Impossible. If the thief walks past a ‘sensored’ area or breaks a door or a window the alarm is triggered. Look for systems that can be enacted remotely with a fob. Again, about £200 is enough for a quality alarm system. 5. Lock your bedroom door when you go to bed. I used to love sleeping with my bedroom door AND window open! I gave up on having the window ajar because my husband hates that, he gets cold easily. After the almost-robbery we started locking the bedroom door too but that only lasted until we got the alarm system. If you don't have one, lock your bedroom door. My colleague knows a man who’s house was broken into, the intruder went all the way to his room, gave him a light tap on the shoulder and said, “We know you have two kids in the next room, give us your valuables and we’ll be on our way!” There’s only one reasonable response to that situation, you shouldn’t risk your children’s lives – give what you’ve got! 6. Get CCTV. Quite pricey but if you have expensive kit in your house that you need to protect, it could be worth it. A quality CCTV system will set you back £500 at least, a grand easy. 7. You can insure some goods against theft but some things are irreplaceable like family pictures that haven't been backed up elsewhere. I wish we could all live in a world where front doors are left open without concern. I grew up in such a world but things have changed radically since. Some people have zero scruples, they blame the world for their problems: what they can’t get for themselves, they will take any way. You’ve been warned.
Attitudes towards money and suitable clothing Sometimes I think I live on a completely different planet to everyone else. We’re sat talking about shopping and my friend, Amelia, who lives in Dusseldorf complains about the lack of shopping variety there. She used to live in London and says she misses Karen Millen, Whistles and a couple of other (high-end) high street shops that she used to frequent. I have never even walked into any of the shops she’s just mentioned except Karen Millen where I bought a dress once in 2007; I still wear that dress. I see them as being too over-priced and plus, I have other priorities. £100 when shoes are on sale? No way. I could get three or four great quality shoes for that £100. Amelia reminds me of that age-old argument about having to use your feet every day and hence the necessity of treating them well. I tell her that her reasoning doesn’t hold water. Billions of people on this planet have been wearing plastic shoes and in many cases no shoes at all for donkeys years with no orthopaedic problems to speak of. Anyway, I digress. I know she comes to London a few times every year so I suggest she merges all her shopping into those trips. “You only need to do a proper shop once or twice a year, right?” “Umm, no, like once or twice every month.” I’m quite astonished . Personally, I shop according to need most of the time: a wedding, a major party or my work clothes looking tatty. Then once a year I will do a major shop spending about half a months’ salary in one go and then no more. I didn’t even do one of those this year, I opted instead to invest in a fabulous wedding dress. I rarely go clothes shopping outside of the event-driven and annual wardrobe upgrade. Weird, right? That’s what I am thinking right now. Lots of women seem to go shopping all the time and my question is, where is all that liquidity coming from? Bernard overhears us and gets interested. He comes over to seek advice on which Louis Vuitton handbag he should get his new wife for Christmas. Hello? Louis Vuitton? I remind him of the several thousand pounds of debt he still has on his credit card from his wedding earlier in the year and he says he’ll ask his pa for a bit of dosh. Ask your father for money when you are not even in desperate need? ! I won’t even get into that. Another friend, Josephine, joins the conversation at this point and I confess to all three that I feel guilty when I spend too much on myself. I believe that coming where I come from (i.e. Malawi) I can only remain true to my roots and to the meaning of life with simplicity and generosity where I can afford it. I said that rather than buying a £600 Louis Vuitton handbag, if I had that cash sitting around, I would much rather call my mum and ask her to find me someone who needs secondary school funding. You’re by now thinking, well, if they have the cash, why not? Thing is, I’m not sure that they do. Amelia asks why I have such a stark view on money management although I earn ‘loads’ more than her. It’s simple. I think what I value the most in life (besides friends and family) is freedom, the freedom from being tied down by a job or by bills or by a mortgage. Whatever excess money I have, I find some way to invest so that as soon as is possible, I will own my house outright and all bills will be paid for from unearned income - income from investments. Buying myself that freedom will mean more time to enjoy with family and to pursue hobbies and charitable causes. For me, this obsession with clothes and nice cushy things seems insane, absolutely crazy. Our conversation veers into Amelia’s dislike of non-natural materials. “I only wear cotton, wool, leather, viscose and other natural fibres. Nothing that starts with a P.” “So you’re high maintenance, basically.” I chimed. “No but if I can get the natural fibre, I will, they feel better.” “I haven’t noticed any major difference in how I feel in different clothes.” “Of course they feel different. If I find a really fabulous dress but it’s the wrong material, I won’t buy it.” For the first time, I come to the realization that the material of clothing is a major factor in some people’s shopping decisions. I judge clothes visually. If the quality looks good visually, I’ll buy it. I have never even thought to check the label to ensure it’s natural! Is that just me? Please tell me it’s not. Geez, a whole other world has just opened to me. I’ve just had to check what my sweater is made from. It says 100% cotton Phew!, I’m not being judged. But even if I was, I have never cared, no point starting now.
Agreed. We Malawians are a very unique, funny, high-spirited and optimistic bunch. Today, is my one monthiversary and I have decided to give a tribute to the awesome motherland by linking in this video from Kiwiz007.
...Or at least that’s how I felt for the first hour after watching The Ultimate Guide to Penny Pinching on TV. They rounded up a select group of Britain’s best penny pinchers and I was astounded at the extent that some people will go to, to save a penny – and in some cases it was literally a few pennies:
Time efficiency There are only 24 hours in a day. Part of the reason I work is to buy myself some leisure time. I have a plethora of hobbies which I want to pursue in my non-working hours – reading, writing, spending time with my family and friends, sleeping?! Rather than spend an hour going through price comparison websites to decide where to shop, I can do one of the above. Productivity I thought, if these people chased enterprising ventures with as much earnest as they do the bargain hunting surely they would by now be raking it in? One can spend so much time trying to save a buck when in fact, spending the same amount of time trying to find a new revenue stream would earn you two bucks. Finally, Peace of mind Sometimes people underrate the importance of having peace of mind. Ms Coupons admitted that whenever she heard there was a deal to be had somewhere she just had to go there and get it – even if she didn’t like the product in question! Come on? I wouldn’t want to have that kind of stress. She felt she was being wasteful if she didn’t take advantage of a deal. My opinion on the matter is – let’s pursue frugality but let’s not be obsessed about it. I’ll try to be generous of heart but I won’t be wasteful; I’ll try to save money but I won’t make it the bane of my life.
If you’re an immigrant like I am, you probably get vexed whenever you see any immigrant-bashing politicians and interest groups in the popular press. It might even make you feel unwanted in the country you have chosen to live. I commiserate with you because this is exactly how I used to feel but I have taken on a fresh perspective this week: I had the pleasure of attending a ceremony where immigrants take an oath to become British. As I sat around waiting for things to kick off I looked around the room and thought a bit about some of the characters there: most people took the occasion very seriously and were well-dressed, over-dressed even; some wore their pride in becoming British very clearly in their expression; there was one guy who spoke so little English (if any) that he couldn’t confirm what his name was when asked; there were a couple of families there with one English speaking family member present, typically the father, with the rest still unable to communicate and comprehend instructions; in one case, the English speaking father had a pregnant wife and two kids under three in tow. This got me thinking, what sort of people does any country want to attract? The answer is simple: positive contributors; people that will add more to the local economy than they will take out of it. Such contributors need also to show a willingness to assimilate and integrate into the economy by, at a minimum, learning the language and the culture. To live somewhere for five years and still be unable to speak the language reflects a serious lack of interest in the culture. The English test required to become British is so easy it’s impossible to fail. This was quite evident from the struggles some displayed in following rather basic instructions. Still, this is only one side of the argument. It’s all well and good for me to say contribute to society, learn the language, learn the culture, however, is it that straightforward? Let’s enter the life of a young girl of 16 or 17 who’s been married off straight out of Asia and brought to England. Her new husband owns a store, for instance, what control does she have over her life? She likely has extremely limited education and even less freedom. If her husband works in the shop all day and she lives in the flat above, her actions will be under constant surveillance. Even if she wants to learn English, she might be afraid to ask her husband? “What do you want to learn English for?” he may well ask. He may be unwilling to relinquish the supremacy he enjoys over her being. Educating his wife in anyway would empower her and perhaps, by his own thinking, reduce his ability to ‘keep her in check’. Indeed, it is highly possible that although the mother may fail to integrate into the community, she may raise her children to be well contributing citizens that any country would be proud to have. A possible step forward could be the implementation of a compulsory and rigorous integration course, say taken by those that would not qualify under a reasonable scoring system similar to that used for a highly skilled migrant visa. It’s a tough issue, made more complicated by those that hate immigrants for the sake of it and immigrants that purely want to take advantage of a generous benefit system. Nonetheless, I empathize both with the powerless immigrant and those citizens that genuinely just want a responsible immigration system.
I was sat around the dinner table with my maid of honor Cecillia, her fiancé Harry and my fiancé Harry arguing about our Myers-Briggs scores. The last test I had done suggested I was ENTP and I tended to agree having read several descriptions. That said, I was pretty sure the last time I had done a similar test I had scored differently, although I couldn’t remember what that result was. Cecillia’s Harry thought I would have been ESTP and frankly, he could be right. In my case, the “E” and the “T” are definite, there’s no argument there. The second and fourth letter are, however, so much more difficult to decide. The likelihood is that I am moderate senser-intuiter with a slight preference for intuiting. In fact, I could comfortably say I have changed over time. I think I used to be more of a ‘sensing’ type of individual but life experience has told me that my intuition and my gut feel often take me to the right place and spending too much time on the detail bores me, so I trust my gut a lot more. I would go as far as saying, the person I am today is a lot different to the person I was, or thought I was fifteen years ago. I have grown to be an adult that’s more flexible and more willing to accept different ways of thinking. I used to be extremely rigid, I liked everything to be in absolute order: everything in the fridge had to have a place, the bookshelf ordered big to small and I was actually very unwavering in my views, I was always right. In my teens, when we went on holiday I wrote a list of everything that would be taken, in insane detail: 10 underwear, 1 roll on, 3 spaghetti tops, … you get the drift. Today, I still like some order but my plans are a lot more adaptable. I still write lists but only where it matters, I throw my suit case together the night before a trip forgetting 20% of what I should have taken but not caring either way. Cecillia doesn’t think a Myers-Briggs score should change. I totally disagree. I think every single life experience teaches me things about myself, my preferences and my capabilities that I didn’t know or had never thought about. I sometimes react to a situation in a way I would have not have predicted if presented with the scenario hypothetically. For instance, I remember the first time someone told me they were an atheist I was taken aback, slightly confused. I had come from a monoculture (in Malawi) where no one would have the cahunas to admit such a view. In multicultural Cambridge, I was continually meeting all types of people. I obviously did know atheism existed but I had never paid it much thought. In my country, anyone who does not believe in God would be seen as immoral or demonic by most. I had known my atheist friend long enough to know he wasn’t either, he was actually a really thoughtful and sensitive guy. Nonetheless, I took his non-belief as a negative. I thought about beliefs long and hard and it actually took me a number of years to accept that there are circumstances that lead people not to believe in a God and that it was actually perfectly acceptable and normal. Years. Many similar experiences continue to shape me and change me on a wide range of subjects. I would agree that after a certain point the Myers-Briggs should have a lower propensity to change but it might change nonetheless. We continued debating the issue but my mum shut us up by saying, “There are three people in everyone, there’s the person people think you are, there’s the person you think you are and there’s the person you really are!” Who can argue with such wisdom?
There are many ways in which to raise well turned out children. For simplicity, it’s possible to split parents into two schools of thought: The ‘School of Freedom’ says let them decide, children should be allowed to have lots of fun because laugh is hard enough and they should decide what activities that they want to get involved in because it’s their life. Frequently such parents will also argue that there’s too much competition in school so it takes the fun out of learning. The ‘School of Structure’ says set them up with a time table of activities that will give them what you as a parent believe is the best chance in life. Such parents may spend hours taking their kids from one after class activity to the next, they’re probably also paying for private tutors to top-up on the schooling. You will frequently see parents that fall at either extreme end of the spectrum put together on shows like Wife Swap (UK or USA) or Trading Spouses. Every time both sets will move a little closer to the center as they realize their kids either have way too much freedom or indeed too much structure. I was just watching the Finale of Junior MasterChef when these thoughts were swimming around in my head. I love watching junior competitions even more than the adult versions firstly, because although it is just as competitive the feedback is always very constructive and even the criticisms are given in the best light. The judges don’t want to be seen as utterly discouraging so they use all the tact that they can. Secondly, the children are frequently so unaware of themselves that they are not overly cautious; they don’t carry all of the nerves that adult competitors tend to. If you watch the finale of Adult MasterChef you can literally feel the tension in the room. There was a child on today’s Final of Junior MasterChef cooking something that she had never cooked before, she knew it was risky but hoped that by following the recipe it would turn out okay. So sweet, so innocent. You hardly ever (probably, never) see these sorts of risks in adult competitions; competitors have normally cooked their chosen dish many times. Junior MasterChef does allow the kids more time so that will in itself reduce the stress but my previous points still hold. You can clearly see that I believe in providing a fair amount of structure and I’m very open to competing. Kids don’t know enough about life to decide for themselves. You learn what you like and what you don’t like through exposure. You gain exposure by taking part in an activity. A child comes to understand that there are different ways of doing things by being taught; sometimes even the most basic things need to be taught. For instance, when I was a five or six year old child, I went into the loo when my dad was brushing his teeth because I was desperate and couldn’t wait. When I was done, I pulled up loads of tissue, scrunched it up into a ball and wiped, as you do. “That’s not how you use toilet paper,” my dad said. He proceeded to take four strips, folded them neatly, and said “This is how you do it.” I had never until that moment thought that there was another way. My pa is an extremely organized person. He’s the perfect combination of flexible and structured; there are many things I learnt by observing him but there are so many others I had to be taught or told. One of my best friends deeply regrets telling her mum she didn’t want to do ballet or classical dancing when she was in primary school. She wishes that her mother had made her do it anyway. At the age of 18, her regret was too late, anyone forging a career in dance had been doing it for over a decade, she felt that she was so behind the curve that there was no point in even trying. By the time she had mastered the necessary skills, she thought she would have been too old to succeed! Providing structure doesn’t mean making your kids super academics, it’s probably even more important if your child is not academic. School is always going to be slanted more towards the scholarly pursuits, if you feel your child is not that way inclined fill their free time with dance, music, art, sport – not with video games! It’s a dog eat dog life out there and you can’t protect kids from that. The more you try to protect, the more you could be causing them harm in the long run: they might not be able to take the pressure once they are thrown into the real world. There are tons of super ambitious, super smart people out there and the quicker you embed a work ethic in your kids, the better. Where do you fall in the freedom versus structure spectrum?
I have always been a major proponent of ‘the English way of spelling is the correct way because it’s older and it came first’ and plus I was brainwashed over a prolonged period of time to believe that the English way is the correct way by my British English teachers. I have never even contemplated spelling any other way. It would be near-blasphemous! In the last four to five years, however, my interest in the inner workings of the internet, e.g. basic code such as html, use of social networking and so forth has grown. My observation is this: all the major websites and the programming languages use American spelling. I mean, you don’t even need to look that far – Facebook will red underline any spellings that are not in the American format such as realised vs. realized, although my language settings say English (UK). My websites which I create myself using drag and drop functionality do the same – so what is one to do? If you can’t beat 'em join 'em and this girl’s had it – she’s going Stateside with her spelling. So for all those wondering why I’m spelling funny or even mixing the two formats when I don’t know better (or I’ve forgotten) – this is why. I am not 100% sure whether I will go the whole hog but for things like replacing ‘s’ with ‘z’ as in specialized, or ‘ou’ with ‘o’ as in ‘labor’, that is easy to do. For grammar, I will stick mostly to the English standard, it’s what I know, however, I am realizing that many books commonly used in finance (my industry) originated in the States so we use their spelling and their grammar. My core books in university – Mankiw and Varian – American; there’s nowhere to hide, it was just a matter of time. Check out this interesting article by an English political blogger who thinks that “as far as spelling is concerned the Americans are usually not only more logical and more phonetic, they are usually more correct.” Out of interest, have any of you gone from English spelling to American? What was your reason?
I have been thinking about why many people never put their ideas into action. The vast majority of us have a business idea every single day but most will never even try to research whether or not it would work. Why is that? As I pondered through the usual reasons people give, such as the lack of start up capital, the poor economic environment, so on and so forth, I thought of a reason I have never actually heard anyone use, mostly because no one would ever admit it: dozens of people are too embarrassed to fail and this psychological stumbling block holds them back from even trying. It’s not entirely their fault either, culturally we have been bred to avoid embarrassment. This fear has been instilled in most from a very young age. I will elucidate this with two examples. Example 1: The athlete who wanted to take part in something This weekend a 17-year old bloke named Sogelau Tuvalu from American Samoa in the South Pacific entered the 100-metres and finished miles behind everyone else; I say miles but it was actually a mere 5-seconds after everyone else, however, in the world of 100-metre sprints, that’s a big difference. This man had initially failed to qualify for a shot-put event so he decided he would go the 100-metres and in preparation for that he trained 4-hours a day for a month. On the day of the run he achieved his personal best although he was the last man to pass the finish line. Whilst other laughed at him, he was ecstatic at merely having tried. I admire this sort of spirit because, for me, that is what life should be all about: trying your best and being your best. Example 2: The girl who isn’t embarrassed to ask That’s me. Two days ago one of my colleagues brought up a situation in which I had asked a highly intelligent question but had mispronounced one word. In fact the mispronunciation was due to the fact that the word is pronounced differently in classical Latin versus in English. I learnt Latin first and that’s how I thought the word should be said and in fact I prefer saying the word that way. Anyhow, he has a laugh and I laugh with him because I don’t take myself too seriously and then I told him that I was still proud to have asked the question because a) in the entire forum of about 200-300 people no other woman asked a question and I thought we shouldn’t just leave the floor to the guys and b) several people wanted to know the answer to my question but asking it would have looked like they were challenging the decision of senior managers; I, on the other hand, am nonplussed by such considerations. “I’m not easily embarrassed," I told my colleague, in conclusion. “Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he answered back, annoyed that he had failed to irk me. And that ladies and gentlemen is the bottom line. Some people just have such a strong fear of this emotion called embarrassment that they will not put themselves in any position where there is a chance that it could happen. I am proud to be a member of the not-so-easily-embarrassed crew and I hope this will enable me to make positive decisions in my life. As long as you believe that you have done or are doing the right thing, PLEASE don’t let the fear of embarrassment stop you from trying to put your dream into action, go for it!
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By Heather Katsonga-WoodwardI'm always thinking, debating, considering and revising my views - some of those deliberations will be shared right here. |