How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

3.75 / 5

A very interesting take on feminism. If you a) have a vagina and b) want to have control over it, then you are a feminist! This is Caitlin Moran's definition and I like it. It's a good definition because many women think being a feminist is radical. 

Lots of people forget that not so long ago women could not vote, inherit assets or even work. You did not have the choice; it was all decided in advance for you. If you believe that we should have any of this stuff, you are a feminist. 

Every woman is a feminist and the only question after that is just the degree to which one believes in women's rights and fights for them.

Men too can be feminists. I know because I married one! Frankly, I thought that a man had certain very basic expectations of a woman and that to be a good partner I had to fulfill these;  being myself was not one of the primary ones. This is why I fervently never expected to get married. I thought that my partner's affections for me would rise with the number of household duties undertaken, the number of times I made his lunches and any other fawning that I could muster. One does not fawn very well.

A few interesting bits from Caitlin's take on life, I paraphrase or give my interpretation of what she says:

• Arm pit hair: you know what, it's not that big of a deal if you're not always cleanly shaven, sometimes a bit of hair just looks cooler
  
• Thongs: get some proper underwear, ones that cover your whole butt
  
• Ron Jeremy (celebrity porn star) named vaginas "pussy" hence she does not like the word. Women should not be defined by a male porn star, we should define ourselves!
  
• Being pro-women does not mean you have to be nice to all other women
  
• Burka: against them because the men don't have to wear Burkas too (makes sense)
  
• Shopping: just because you're a woman, you don't have to like it. Finally!! Someone needed to put this out there because I for one hate shopping. It is sooo time consuming and if I could afford it I would rather have a personal shopper because for me the shopping experience is resolutely boring and extremely overrated. Shopping, for me, is about the thing you want or need to get not about the experience in itself. As a self-styled minimalist, I don't like to own lots of useless clothes and trinkets.
  
• There's a difference between being "fat" and "human-shaped"; think about this one
• High heels should "fuck-off", feet were not designed for them and supermodels wear them exclusively for photo shoots. This is actually something that I had never thought about but it's relatively true - when you see supermodels outside of "work" they're wearing pumps and other more comfy footwear. Thank you again Caitlin, someone needed to put this out there.
• Flirting your way up the career chain is A-okay. Male bonding is also flirting wherever it might take place: toilets, on the golf course, in a pub or a bar...so, people should think of women trying to get ahead using flirtation as a woman-only act, guys do it too!
• All young girls have had imaginary relationships in their heads as a teenager - you know what, I was afraid to ask about this one because I thought I might come off as weird but I did used to have these when I was a teen and then they kind of just disappeared in the late teens. Perhaps it's because I started having real relationships!
• Porn is bad and degrading to women; it's essentially designed for men
• Addiction to porn and strip clubs is the third highest cause of debt in men
• 60-80% of strippers have a background/history of abuse
• Burlesque is okay though because it is art: a) the artists have decent names; b) it's not humourless - the artists talk, sing and dance; c) it is designed with women in mind

Overall: insightful and it is great to know her very balanced view on life and being a feminist. Ultimately, the book said to me: BE YOURSELF!

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