By Shaqwania
I visited a family member recently and I never thought I would have to stand my ground with this particular individual EVER in life. I never thought that I would be arguing about hair. She looked at me and told me that she didn't like my appearance. She told me that my hair was unacceptable and that black people no longer have to walk around looking like hooligans because there are so many different things out there for us to help us keep a more maintained look. I have semi freeform locks. My locks are low maintenance for the most part. I wash my hair and separate them to prevent the merging of my locks into bigger ones. My locks sit on a one to two inch afro. I chose this route once I began my lock journey because it just felt right. Going through a lock process you will encounter what society views as an ugly stage. I beg to differ. I do not think there is an ugly stage. This ugly stage supposedly refers to the time your locks are doing whatever they want and are not in a neat and organized fashion so they could be poking out all over the place. It was not until I began my natural hair journey in 2012 that I understood the amount of damage that has been done to how we view our hair. I shared with my family member how I felt about their views and it deeply saddens me to know that there are people of our own ethnicity who feel like the hair that grows from our scalp is not the hair we should embrace. If there were never a relaxer created would we just hate our looks? Is this truly self love to not love every part of your being? I went from loose natural hair to locks and many have supported my decision and others (like my family member) think I have gone crazy. They think I need to talk to someone. I find this hilarious, literally. I may go talk to someone but it will not be about my decision to lock, it will be about learning some ways to reprogram their thinking process. Being a natural hair video blogger, I have noticed division in the natural hair community. It is unfortunate but it is there: The division lies is all about hair textures. This has resulted in the labelling of hair as being either good hair or bad hair. My hair is far from loose textured but many have come to me for help and without even realizing it they pretty much tell me my hair is bad in so many ways or they say that my hair looks good on me but the texture doesn't look good on everybody. This is merely the mindset (programming) that needs to be unlearned.
I have two daughters whose hair care regimens I also share on my social media platforms.
My oldest daughter went through an episode at five years of age where a fungus began to grow on her scalp. I didn't want to relax her hair but she was on medications for weeks to try and kill this fungus and it was only spreading. It had a terrible odor and she was really embarrassed by it. I decided to apply a relaxer to kill it. The relaxer killed the fungus. Hmmm.....how about that! Relaxers are not healthy but I couldn't sit back and watch my baby go through the fungus ordeal. I do not recommend anyone apply a relaxer to kill fungus as I am not a medical doctor. This does show how strong relaxer chemicals are. It was able to kill a fungus that she was being treated for for weeks with oral meds and medicated shampoos. She has since transitioned back to natural hair and only asks for blow outs as she understands the versatility of natural hair. My youngest daughter doesn't know anything about relaxers. She doesn't complain about her hair and it is just a part of her as it should be. This shows me that it is what is taught to us as to whether or not we just simply embrace what is ours. My daughter doesn't know about anything different so when she requests hair styles she requests natural styles that she picks out from the computer. She doesn't think her hair is bad or too kinky. It is her hair, PERIOD. As a mother my children are always watching. If I complain about my hair they will do the same. If I tell them their hair is bad out of impatience while styling their hair then they will believe it. If I embrace mine and encourage them to do the same they will embrace theirs and encourage others to do the same. What are we teaching those that we love about natural hair? Are we teaching them that it is ugly or bad hair or are we teaching them to love their God-given hair?
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Summer '16 has been so full of Black Girl Magic and Melanin! It has flooded timelines across all platforms. Yet, there is still one thing that can always cast a shadow over our achievements, and it’s this little thing called hair. For some reason, our gloriously coiled strands cause mass pandemonium in a number of situations. Here are a few examples of what I mean.
A couple weeks ago, I was askee to be the guest on a radio show where we discussed black hair. The big issue was Ms. Gabby Douglas. During the course of the Olympics, we watched Gabby Douglas, for the second time, get vilified over her edges. EDGES ya’ll! Because they were not ‘laid to the gods,’ she was dragged through the mud, by her own people. She is an OLYMPIAN folks; and not once, but twice. And yet, it doesn't seem to matter. Youtuber Karen Constant, better know as Glamfun decides that being natural just wasn't working for her, so she relaxed her hair. She was tired of the hassle of finding the right products, detangling, the salons, etc. She was ready for a break. When she posted her video of her new ‘do’, her followers were not the most sympathetic to her very personal decision. The comments rolling in were so bad, that she removed the video altogether. Alicia Keys decided in March to stop wearing make up because she desired to feel free. Many Black women were not pleased. So when attending the VMA's with no make up AND a cute messy bun, they now thought her hair was just as ‘uncouth’ as her face. It’s as if a bare face and curly hair is a crime now: when did it become a crime to be yourself? With each of these situations, it seems impossible for black women to win. We are always between a rock and a hard place. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. As we struggle to fit into a society that doesn't deem us worthy of protection and love, now we can’t fit in with each other. Where is it safe for black women to be free? We don't need any Relaxed Renegades, Natural Nazis, and Weave Warriors coming for each other about their hair choices. Last I checked, we were all black women and we all had hair. We have enough people out to get us. We have to stick together. Remember ladies, a house divided against itself cannot stand. Gurlish Curls Blog: www.gurlishcurls.com Fan Page: www.facebook.com/GurlishCurls Youtube: Smoothecarmel Twitter: @GurlishCurls Instagram: GurlishCurls 
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Lucky are those that big chop on impulse. In a moment of frustration they either pick up a pair of scissor or walk into a barber’s shop and chop their hair off. I’m not one of those girls.
I have long-admired people that go for the bald look and wondered what I would look like without hair. I imagined I’d enjoy it because there would be so little maintenance involved but I also imagined I’d look really weird without hair – my precious hair. Many of us deliberate the big chop like this;should I or shouldn’t I. We want the look but somehow convince ourselves that it won’t look as good on us as it does on others so we don’t. Indeed, after telling fans I’d chop my hair off on 1-Jan-2015, I chickened out. I couldn’t do it – there was too much going on, I told myself; like chopping your hair off takes any time at all. And so, I waited another year and it is in this year I came up with a strategy that helpedme go for the big chop. Hopefully it will help you too,if this is your heart’s desire:
The Night Before Whether you are giving the hair away or keeping it, you want it to be clean. So the day or night before the BC wash and condition your hair thoroughly, moisturize it and twist it. The Day Of The Big Chop With your twists in place go to a barber shop. I don’t recommend cutting your own hair if it’s something you’ve never done before. If you’re doing it for a good cause most barbers will do it for free, they did it for free for me. Ask the barber to chop each twist off neatly and hand it to you before he shaves your head completely, then smile and enjoy the shave. I went for a “1” hair cut – basically, very bald, however you can leave more if you prefer. How Will You Feel Once It’s Done? A mixture of strange and great:strange because you won’t even recognize yourself but also great because, for some reason, you feel like you’ve been released from some kind of a prison. Many describe the feeling as liberated. Either liberated from society’s ideal of beauty or liberated from hair management, a task that enslaves many girls. Anyhow, if you have any BC stories, I’d love to hear them. Make a comment.
One of the most annoying questions I was ever asked was "Why do you (i.e. black people) need to have different products anyway? Why can't everyone just use the same products?" - what was annoying wasn't the questions itself but the fact that the person didn't even let me answer. They just continued talking and every time I interjected with "Can I answer your question?" They just talked over me and ignored me. I was still annoyed about 2 months after the incident! I know, that's ridiculous - other people's stupidity should never impact one's emotions like that.
Anyhow, if you cut through the hair strand of someone with naturally straight hair you would find that the cross-section is round. Curly hair on the other hand has a flattened oval or elliptical cross section, this however is only one difference. It is the feature that gives our hair it's very curly shape. In addition, African/African-American hair:
The fewer the number of layer the more chemicals can be used to change the hair - so a person with a 7-layer cuticle will take chemicals more easily than a person with an 11-layer cuticle; remember those people who complain that their hair just doesn't take relaxer? They probably have a thicker cuticle layer. That said, flatter (elliptical) hair strands are easier to treat with chemicals so black hair may ultimately be easier to chemically manipulate. In summary, besides the curl that you see, different hair types have varied structural and chemical features that impact how products work with the hair. This is why different hair types needs slightly different products.
 Check out Queen Carmen's Hair Journey & Regimen
I have been asked this question a few times so I thought it’s high time I gave a proper explanation. What makes one product really cheap and another one more expensive?
Product Price and Product Quality Yes, there is definitely a correlation between the quality of a product and the price but it isn’t a perfect relationship – something that costs £20 isn’t necessarily two times better than a £10 product. That said, some products are cheap for a reason: they use cheap quality ingredients that neither nourish your hair nor your body. Case in point, I was in a Poundland (think, The Dollar Store) – basically as budget as it gets and I saw a 250ml product of “Body Butter” – I couldn’t believe it. There is no way you can produce a body butter that cheaply no matter what your volumes are. So I picked up the bottle to read the ingredients and true to form there was only one vegetable butter on the list and it was very far down the list of ingredients suggesting there wasn’t much of it in there. Ultimately the product was called a butter because they had created a buttery texture but most of it was water and factory made ingredients. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with most factory ingredients and anything that comes in a can or bottle even Mayo and beans has to contain some form preservation; however, having too much of them reduces the benefits to hair (and skin) compared to a product that use a healthy balance of both farmed and manufactured inputs. A balance needs to be achieved between hair benefits and prolonged shelf life. Sometimes A Cheap Price Hides Another Story Another case in point: I bought a bottle of “Pure Jojoba” because the price was uniquely low; it was too good to be true, I just had to have it. When I got home I thought the product smelt a little “off”. A look at the ingredients list confirmed it wasn’t jojoba but a jojoba and grapeseed oil blend – the product label was lying on the front, calling itself “Pure Jojoba” when it wasn’t! Grapeseed oil is a good oil but it is cheaper than jojoba and has different benefits. I wanted jojoba for the unique benefits that it offers so I was annoyed and disappointed. The price was too good to be true for a reason. Product Price & Unique Ingredients When it comes to product making the more unique the ingredients you use the more expensive the product will be. Shampoo is a good example here.  Check out Queen Christine's Hair Journey & Regimen
Because sulfates were so widely used in shampoo (and they still are) using them as a cleanser is really brings down the cost of making a shampoo. Once consumers switched on to the fact that sulfates were too strong a cleanser for dry hair types and possibly had other negative effects some businesses decide to use alternative cleansers.
Using a cleanser other than a sulfate pushes the price up. Some alternative cleansers, e.g. cocamidopropyl betaine, have grown in usage so they are more widely available and therefore more affordable to use as a product ingredient. That said, milder cleansers are still being developed. Choosing to use a non-mainstream ingredient to improve product quality hikes the product price right up. How The Big Dogs Keep Prices Low There are three ways that big manufacturers keep prices down:
Product Price and Experience Some companies want to provide more than just a product to a customer. They want to provide a great experience, great customer service and a fabulous customer relationship. To provide this extra service their product will cost more.  Check out Queen Gloria's Hair Journey & Regimen
Product Price and Status
Last but certainly not least, some customers want to buy products to show their status a little or to feel different to the masses. If you feel you work harder than most people then you want products most people cannot afford. You want a branded hair or body product that shows you care about quality. You don’t want “good enough” products, you want “best in category” products. Have you ever had a friend who goes from being on your level and all of a sudden they get a job paying them triple? They get a new place to live and when you go over to the house warming party everything in their place tells you upfront, I’m on another level now. Even the hand wash in the bathroom is a superior and exclusive brand. You look on in admiration and just think, I need to work hard and get myself nice stuff like this. Premium products differentiate themselves by going above and beyond on product packaging as well as other small branding elements that the premium consumer cares about. It’s why you choose to buy a Mercedes Benz over a Toyota when they both do exactly the same thing. In summary, a product may be more expensive because:
CurlyNikki recently received a huge backlash after featuring a white woman on the site. This is my perspective; I am going to try to be as balanced as possible:
Firstly, I am going to step away from race, completely: I feel sorry that WaterLily716 had to contend with so much hate because clearly she does see herself as struggling with curls. However, one of the issues I thought came through in her profile was that she's not struggling to gain wider, community acceptance as many type 4s do, but more accepting herself. Indeed, I have to admit that I don't think the struggle with type 3A hair is even close to that of 4A/4B/4C hair. These are my reasons:
These are the questions I have. In all fairness she does admit that the questions on the CurlyNikki application form didn't all apply to her. This could be seen as the first signal that her struggles were different to the target audience. To me, the whole natural hair community is not only about embracing yourself as you are but about showing hair types that were almost completely extinct at the turn of the century. Many of the tips we share with each other are completely useless to those with very loose curls because they simply don't face the same issues. RACISM vs. DISCRIMINATION vs. NICHE AUDIENCES RACE: I believe racism is wrong whether it is white on black, black on white or even black on black. We simply should not judge people by skin color because it has no impact on character or intelligence even if crazy research might suggest there is a connection. DISCRIMINATION: I also believe discrimination is wrong. Darker skinned blacks vs. lighter skin blacks remains an issue both in Africa and in the West. Kinkier hair types get much fewer picture likes than looser curl types on natural hair pages - ask anyone who runs a page. NICHE: However, I think focusing on a niche is completely fine. Every business or blog has a target audience. For example:
Anyhow, as an information site CurlyNikki has traditionally focused on 3C down to 4C hair and that is what people have come to expect. Some people return to her site, time and time again because they really want to see type kinkier and curlier hair types. A business needs to be consistent and the backlash shows that Ms. Nikki Walton did something inconsistent and unexpected. This could just be a change in business strategy for the site so those that don't like it will walk to the multitude of other sites available and those that are still getting the content they want will stay. It's that simple. I have nothing against any race; I myself am married to a white man. I would love to see white people with type 4A/B/C on our natural hair portals because their struggle will be exactly the same: they will know all about matting and the daily spritz. At the end of the day, this wasn't a race issue to me, it was a hair type issue. I saw CurlyNikki's site as focused on a certain hair type, more specifically kinky & curly hair types that were hardly seen at the turn of the century. What she did was post a hair type that never disappeared from public view and as such it did not really fit the imprint of the usual CurlyNikki profile. Okay - comments please. Am I being unfair or even unbalanced? What is your perspective?
Having left us this week I thought I would look up what Maya Angelou had to say about hair and I discovered she took part in Good Hair by Chris Rock - here's what she had to say:
Chris Rock: How old were you when you first got your relaxer? Maya Angelou: Oh god. I was about seventy. Chris Rock: Seventy? You went your whole life... Maya Angelou: Not my whole life, I'm still alive!
My love for Mrs Obama's dress sense and style has now got some solid competition in the form of Lupita Nyong'o. I watched the film 12 Years A Slave just this weekend and loved her acting so I decided to look her up.
There's a huge amount of discussion going on in the blogoshpere regarding her race, ethnicity etc. Apparently she is the daughter of a Kenyan politician but was born in Mexico in 1983 where her father was staying to avoid political persecution. She left Mexico when she was one but still has a right to the passport because she was born there. I love how when you do well everyone wants to claim you as theirs. It happens all the time in Britain too: one minute you are an unwanted immigrant, the next minute you win a prize and you're all of a sudden a prized "British darling"! Anyway...I digress...her nationality is not what is of interest to me, what is are her unique style of dress and of course, her kinky tresses! Lupita is not only really fit but she has her own unique style. She loves to use bright colours and they look fabulous on her. Her use of colour is most inspiring. In addition, many dark-skinned women complain about not being appreciated enough in mainstream media and Lupita is representing on that front with such grace and style. I am so loving her being in the lime light. I was never into Alek Wek because I felt she was just a pawn in the hands of modelling agencies that wanted to make money out of her. Lupita, on the other hand, seems to really be her own woman. Let's celebrate and enjoy her! Best Article In The Media So Far: Lupita Nyong'o won more than just an Oscar, she won hearts Pictures of Lupita Nyong'o At Various Red Carpet Events
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Natural Hair
To me, when I am talking about "natural hair" - I simply mean hair that has not been permanently straightened using some kind of a chemical ingredient, e.g. relaxer, Brazilian blow dry etc. This does not include hair straightened using temporary methods such as heat. Natural Ingredients I have no idea what a natural ingredient is! Natural is defined as "existing in or derived from nature; not made or caused by humankind." If you use this definition then I think there are different degrees to which something can be natural and just calling something natural does not mean much. For example, a carrot is natural, yes, but if you cook it, it's less natural. The girl that eats a raw carrot is giving her body more and better nutrients than the girl who cooks the carrot first. Similarly, a carrot picked fresh off a farm is more natural than one that has been bagged for a supermarket. That bag normally has life prolonging chemicals inside it. Of course, if we are talking about cake vs. carrot then there is no debate about what is more natural. However, even with the cake everything that goes in was natural. The flour came from wheat, the sugar from corn or sugarcane etc. If we weren't sat on our butts all day that cake wouldn't be so bad to eat either; it would be burned as energy rather than clogging up our arteries! 
I am only using food as an example here because we can all relate to it. The principles can be easily applied to hair ingredients. If someone tells you something is natural ask them what they mean! The "natural" means something only if it is given a context.
Natural does not necessarily mean organic - so if that matters to you then clarify the organicness of a product; natural does not mean completely unrefined so check what, if any, refining a product went through before it reached you; natural does not mean locally grown. Basically, outside of "natural hair" - I think the term natural means nothing if it's not given a context. You need to define what natural means to you and then make sure that the people you are dealing with are using the same definition, e.g. organic, eco-friendly, free of certain ingredients or inputs, grown within the country you live etc. etc. Finally, I want you to note that unless you have specific allergies or conditions most things that are not natural will cause you no harm whatsoever if you use them in the right amount; indeed, almost all "natural" ingredients will result in a negative reaction if you use them wrongly - even drinking too much water can kill you! 'Nuff said! I'm out! 
Get your FREE ebook on How To Grow Long, Healthy Natural Kinky or Curly Hair. Ref: Water Intoxication You might also like:
Okay, call me naive but I thought when I asked the Facebook page about what they do if their boo hates the satin bonnet I thought most folk would be like "he doesn't care"!
The good news is that most guys aren't bothered by satin bonnets, however, some guys simply don't like the look. I don't know why. My Harry isn't bothered by it at all. He's worn one to bed a couple of times to support me. He's a real keeper that boy! First, don't worry if your boo doesn't like it, you're in fairly good company. There seem to be two solutions:
Questions I asked the Facebook page:
Click a link to read the responses and to add your two cents! |
I now blog about wealth creation - so if you have any money questions meet me there, you can do all sorts of cool things like leave me a voicemail.
By Heather Katsonga-Woodward
I was a natural hair blogger and mixtress living between London & Chicago from 2012 to 2017. I always thought I was 4C but some say 4B; images below - you decide! Heather xx
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